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Rest, Regardless of the Outcome

rest and celebrate self-care Nov 09, 2022
decorative ceramic mug on an outdoor table with trees blurred in the background, daiga ellaby/unsplash

As I write this, midterm election polls are just starting to close on the east coast in the US. It’s too early to call anything. The battleground states were within a few percentage points going into election day and all the votes won’t be counted tonight. (Some key states don’t allow processing early votes or mail in votes until election day. Looking at you Alabama, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.) 

What I know is that right now some of us are anxious and putting in the work to process the election. Others are anxious and hate watching TV and doom scrolling social media. Some of us have voted, done what we could to help others get to the polls, and tuned out the rest.

I voted early, so today, I worked and spent time in nature. I just started looking online and TV to see what’s happening. Based on what I see, I’m about to turn the television off. They don’t know anything, yet, and some stations are projecting winners with what looks like small percentages of the vote counted to me. I’m not participating in the adrenaline rush. In 2016 and 2018, I was glued to the media and worried. This year, I put in the work and stepped away. I’ve done what I can and I’m going to rest, regardless of the outcome.

I’m walking my talk, following my four pillars for making social equity a habit and sustaining social justice: 1. Self-care 2. Know Your Facts 3. Undo the Work 4. Rest and Rejoice. If I’m being honest, step four is the hardest for me. That’s the one my clients and students want to skip, too. That’s why I want to remind everyone to rest, regardless of the outcome.

If you voted, if you encouraged other people to vote, if you wrote postcards to voters or phone banked or canvassed or donated, then you did the work. If the outcome isn’t what you want, it’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay to be angry or afraid. But it’s crucial that before you dive in and do more, that you give your body, mind, and soul a chance to rest. Otherwise, you’re putting yourself at risk of burnout. Then you won’t be any good to yourself, much less democracy and social justice. It’s important that you acknowledge the work you did even if you don’t get the outcome you want. No effort is wasted. If you planted a seed for someone else to think differently, to recognize the humanity in another, that’s never wasted.

What's up next is how to continue the conversation with the people we disagree with. And that's not easy. I’m hoping to wake up to good news. However it turns out, I’m resting my body and soul.

Sending fierce love!

What You Can Do

Learn how to talk to the racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, classist people in your life. Whether they're friends, family, colleagues, or just people you share space with, know how to protect your energy, hold space for change, make valid points, and recognize that you're undoing the work. Register for How to Talk to Your Racist Friends and Family, November 15-22. What you'll get:

  • Kick-off Zoom Tuesday, November 15, PM ET
  • 6 daily audio lessons to listen to at your convenience
  • Workbook to make the lessons personal
  • Community to post questions and observations
  • Wrap-up Zoom Tuesday, November 22, 7PM ET

What you'll leave with:

  • understanding of what's yours to handle and what's not so you can set clear boundaries
  • knowing how to hold space so you can stop trying to force people to change
  • a roadmap for the specific conversations you want to have
  • confidence to have tough discussions

"I am more confident, relaxed, and humbled because of Sacil's "no shame" space for healing and understanding. I also feel EMPOWERED, and I am ready to have conversations about racism. Now."

Mr. Kim K.



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